Comments for Lab Coats & Lingerie

Comment on Dysphoria by Dysphoria, and an Attempt for More Inclusive Metaphors « Shadow's Crescent

Dysphoria, and an Attempt for More Inclusive Metaphors « Shadow's Crescent — Wed, 16 May 2012 21:36:40 +0000

[...] you’re done with Amy’s post (and have hopefully subscribed to her blag), go read this peace, Dysphoria, by Fizz at Lab Coats and Lingerie and come [...]

Comment on Dysphoria by Fizz

Fizz — Sat, 12 May 2012 06:47:47 +0000

Yeah, you’ve got it exactly. I kind of glossed over this in the post but there was a lot of anxiety associated with that uncertainty, which has been mitigated by time and, honestly, just giving myself permission not to make sense or be sure of myself. Even so, it’s relieving to hear that other people have similar experiences, and you’re not even the only person to tell me so since this post has gone up. That’s how I justify even posting this stuff, which otherwise feels pretty narcissistic–hoping to show other people that they’re not alone either.

I’m actually similarly ambivalent about boobs, from the opposite perspective. I like them, they feel nice and look good and I can do fun things with them, but they’re also a gender expression I can’t really turn off. Even packing and binding I can still easily be read as female, and that’s dumb (and frustrating). But if I got rid of them, I’d have the same problem the other way, albeit less so because of other feminine markers (like face shape and voice).

Feh.

Comment on Dysphoria by Shoofle

Shoofle — Fri, 11 May 2012 20:50:31 +0000

I feel very similarly. I feel really awkward, sometimes, identifying myself as genderqueer, because – how to put this – I feel fairly secure and confident as a manly man of man-ing. I do like being pretty, and I really don’t like being lumped in with guys (in fact, I much prefer being lumped in with girls) – but at the same time, the actions I’m comfortable with and feel most myself in fit our society’s mold of man pretty well – because that’s the shape I’ve grown into. So I don’t really feel like I’m a tremendous gender warrior, smashing the gender binary with my bouncing boobs and throbbing cock…
But at the same time, I feel so detached from my genitals sometimes. Your paragraph about being on cam with Ali and Leon really resonated with me – I’ve felt that too many times. I just wish that I didn’t have this cock here, I guess. I want to feel pressure pushing on me and I want to feel objects stretching me… Feh. Also, I go back and forth on some phenotypes coded as feminine – if someone just handed me a pair of boobs, I’d feel really uncomfortable in them, because that’s just not my mental image of myself. But I’d give so much to have the feeling of boobs while having sex, I think.

Comment on Disability and Queerness by Fucking Language | Good Vibrations Blog

Fucking Language | Good Vibrations Blog — Thu, 03 May 2012 16:44:37 +0000

[...] perspective of what weâ€™re doing not aligning with my own is somewhat terrifying. As I always emphasize when discussing disability and sexuality, sex is mostly mental. Sex isnâ€™t about the body- the biggest and most important sexual organ is the brain. [...]

Comment on The Cost of Devaluing Male Submission: One Token by CrankyFool

CrankyFool — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:35:37 +0000

I’m doing a pretty terrible job trying to catch up on the universe of maymay’s writing, but had to stop that particular quest for a moment to make a quick comment on this thread (though I acknowledge this is about six months late).

Delving back into the scene lately, and attending munches, I do agree there’s something of a push to define oneself in traditional dom/sub terms. For me, however, that dichotomy is … I was going to say offensive, but it’s not just that. More importantly, for me it just doesn’t work. I can’t tell you if I’m a dom or a sub. I can’t even think that way. I can tell you about my experiences, if you’d like, but you know what? I’m really unlikely to tell you about all of my experiences on our first casual conversation.

For me, what I want in my life are relationships with people about whom I care, and who care about me. And you know, the way to get there — for me at least — is by getting to know people, rather than getting to know the particular way they want their sex, or sexual relationships.

So I have to tell you — “let’s start getting to know each other as human beings” has been working pretty well for me so far.

Comment on CCSS #2: Robin by Daniel Ross

Daniel Ross — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 21:10:42 +0000

Nice! :)

Comment on CCSS #1: This Is What Consent Culture Looks Like by CCSS #2: Robin « Lab Coats & Lingerie

CCSS #2: Robin « Lab Coats & Lingerie — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:52:59 +0000

[...] This is part of a series of Consent Culture Sex Stories: explicit posts describing real sex, including the communication around what happened, how we got what we wanted, things that didn’t go right and how we adapted. Their purpose is to make clear and enthusiastic consent more than an abstract idea discussed by sex nerds–to show how this actually works in real life, and that it’s hot. The first CCSS post is here. [...]

Comment on The Cost of Devaluing Male Submission: One Token by Belladonte

Belladonte — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 02:44:11 +0000

I read these lines and my heart opens with gratitude. The hunger and feelings I have harbored for so man years. The searching and clarity I have some how do not bear fruit. I began to think is there no value in desiring a kind smart strong submissive man that holds his value and sees it reflected in my eyes? thank you And yes many lonely nights alone.
Miss B

Comment on Courage by Chris O'Sullivan

Chris O'Sullivan — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:20:43 +0000

What do you call a grown-up who is afraid, cries, panics yet keeps moving forward when the odds are stacked against them?
A Marine.

Courage is not lack of fear. Panic is a transitional moment when you realize that the shot is hitting the fan. Tears wash away the loss of what might have been on a river of grief.

Emotion is what our minds use to absorb change and shock, to bend in place of shattering. Even forgetting helps us stay sane when pushed beyond endurance.

Stay you, even when you change,

Chris

Comment on Courage by Michele M

Michele M — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:36:52 +0000

Hugs to you. I haven’t been on the receiving end of TPN or a central line. I have taken care of one in a loved one though and experienced on some levels the feelings that come with it. I also know the fear of infection in the line and the day in day out internal struggle (at times) with that fear. In my experience it was a Hickman catheter though and not a PICC line. Hopefully since you are in the hospital you can get the essential education so you don’t have to struggle as much as you did with the other.

The TPN is extensive and hopefully you can adjust to it without too much struggle. I’m sorry things have gotten to this point but with a rest maybe things can improve again. Getting the nutrients is so important too and will help with the emotional rollercoaster ride that comes with these experiences as well as not being able to feed your body the way it needs.. It always amazes me how much not eating or not being able to eat affects me emotionally and the whole struggle around food drains me a lot (even though my issues are different from yours).

I like quotes so I figure I can close with a couple around the themes of strength. I know that feeling all too well myself.

Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.
Winston Churchill

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi

One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
Albert Schweitzer

It is only necessary to have courage, for strength without self-confidence is useless.
Giacomo Casanova

Feel better soon!!!